We Jam Econo: The Story of the Minutemen (2005)

This blog is going on indefinite hiatus. Here is a hot mess I wrote for a film I watched ages ago that I forgot to post. Take it easy humans.

DB

This documentary concerns the story of punk band The Minutemen who hailed from San Pedro, California in the early '80s and proved to be a very influential band. Central to the tale is that of guitarist D. Boon and childhood bud and Minuteman bassist Mike Watt. Through old interview footage with the band, contemporaries such as Henry Rollins and Flea, and newer footage with Watt you understand the importance of their relationship to the success of the band. Drummer George Hurley gets his props as well. Footage of him doing some fancy work on the skins with one of the most ridiculous fringes I've seen, possibly ever, was a highlight. The excitement and opposition they felt during the burgeoning punk scene on the west coast of the states during those days is well told.

I knew of these misfits but was not overly familiar with their output. My interest in their era of music spurred me on to watch this and I dug it for the most part. It certainly filled in a few gaps of information and it was a little sad knowing the documentary was leading to the premature demise of D. Boon in 1985. There is a fair amount of live footage to take in which is not great quality and that extends to most of the film actually. For those not interested in the music I couldn't recommend it. The story doesn't really transcend to anything much greater than the story of a band, even though it is trying to. There is also an exorbitant array of talking heads who often tend to be saying the same thing which just leads to to the whole thing becoming a little boring. I'm glad I watched it despite the cons but it could probably have done with a little less idolising and a bit more storytelling. Sound none the less. 

3/5

 

Moneyball (2011)

It's been some time since a sports movie of this quality flickered by in front of my pink, jammy eyeballs. Whether you are a fan of 'America's past time', aka baseball, or not matters little such is the quality of this film. It is based on true events that occurred during the Oakland Athletic's 2002 season as General Manager Billy Beane implements unorthodox strategies to build his team and upsets a few traditionalists along the way. Brad Pitt is commanding as Beane and Jonah Hill great as the underling that inspires Beane into action with his bold ideas. 

The film is refreshingly free of fluff such as an unnecessary love interest while still offering the expected emotional punch as the underdogs find their nuts. Not just a film for sports fans it is an interesting and entertaining look at the dynamics of the characters behind the scenes. I was more than happy to lay down my own moneyball (a sweat and fluff encrusted hunk of bills and coins that had been forged in the depths of my jean's pockets) to watch this.

4/5

Of Gods and Men (2010)

I was told my patience may be tested with this film but that it was also wonderful. Some bastard lied to me about the patience bit but not the wonderful part. The fact it is based on true events during the Algerian civil war adds to the outstanding film making. It takes a close look at the lives of a group of French monks and the decisions they have to make when their lives come under threat during war. A fascinating study of their daily rituals and interaction with one another never becomes boring as tension mounts inside and outside their monastery walls. Save their bacon or stay and answer their calling? Pretty sure I'd get the hell out of there but it isn't easy imagining myself as a monk.

4.5/5

 

A Christmas Carol (2009)

This is me in about ten years

I'm a bit of a sucker for Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol and it's film adaptions. As an embryonic being I enjoyed Mickey's A Christmas Carol (1983) and gurgled compliantly as a teen to The Muppet's Christmas Carol (1994). Then there was Bill Murray in that modern, screwball yarn Scrooged (1988). Damn it that was good. Although it's waned somewhat over the years I do still get a warm glow in the belly from sentimental and gooey Christmas capers and Disney's latest addition delivers in dollop loads. Jim Carey voices Ebeneezer Scrooge in animated fashion without drawing attention to the fact it is Jim Carey. Unusual for him yes? The detail in the animation is rad. Look at old Scroogey's face above. Genius work. Originally a 3D feature there are some passages obviously intended to wow that viewing audience but watching it on bog standard 2D at home makes it seem an obvious superfluous effect. 
I could understand people not liking the characters which border on creepy at times. The humans that is, not the ghosts. Despite a strangely odd detached feeling from reality I am happy to add this film to the list of A Christmas Carol classics. That doesn't make it a classic film but it's still a nice accolade for it yes? My oath it is.
4/5

Are there any other worthy A Christmas Carol themed films I should see? Tell me!

 

Until the Light Takes Us (2008)

Some think our far northern friends in Norway behave a little peculiar at times due in part to the extreme weather conditions they live with. I don't know about all that weather mumbo jumbo but something helped spawn the carnage that is black metal in their otherwise mild-mannered culture. This doco looks a little into the music's background, the players involved in the early days and how things got seriously shit shaped. What is described as essentially an escape from mundanity does become something else when crimes are being committed such as church burning and murder. Interviews with some of the guys involved such as Varg Vikernes, who was in prison at the time of filming, and Fenriz shed an illuminating light on to what may have been swirling around in their heads at the time. There is no mention of any mind altering substances though which you have to wonder may have contributed to Vikernes' heinous murder of his bandmate. His description of the event sounds deluded despite his obvious intellectual tact. He's cold as hell about it too. As he mentions driving a knife into a skull his tone of voice resembles that which may be used to describe a wine bottle being opened. 

Interesting stuff in all but it could have definitely benefitted with a shorter running time of 60 minutes. Fans of the genre may dig on all the inane details but for someone with only a casual interest it was too much.  

Norway; I got to visit thee.

3/5

Conviction (2010)

This is like a true crime telemovie but with some classy actors and a polished production. Hilary Swank is suitably rugged yet vulnerable as the little battler trying to free her sibling from a life behind bars. Sam Rockwell is her rough-nut brother who has been locked up for the grisly slaughter of some poor young lady. Rockwell's been in some interesting movies over the years but I've always been slightly unsettled by his presence. I think with this film I'm finally onboard with him though. Super glad that's all sorted out. He's very good as a guy with a tonne of character who struggles living within the confines of the law. Melissa Leo appears as a ball busting cop. She appears in everything these days so no surprises to see her mug popping up here as well. Also I didn't realise Minnie Driver was still making movies. How you like them apples?

This is a genuinely touching story especially as it is based on reality so it's a shame it does have that telemovie feel. I also felt slightly uncomfortable with the way the passing of years was dealt with. It felt a little awkward but that's a small gripe to be honest. 
Worth seeing if you feel like some vague heart string pulling and prodding and poking.

3.5/5

Grave of the Fireflys (1988)

This lovely Japanese tale of siblings trying to survive during the midst of WW2 just about cracked my beautiful porcelain exterior. While not preaching about the horrors of war it makes it plain to see the tragedy. The animation and sound are spot on at capturing a tranquil landscape shattered by relentless hailstorms of bombs. They also capture the tender relationship of the brother and sister in their quest to stay together and stay alive. 

Director Isao Takahata is a legend of the Anime scene and was a founder of Studio Ghibli. In case you are ignorant of this sort of thing I should inform you they are the studio responsible for Spirited Away (2001) and Howls Moving Castle (2004). I hope that helped. Casting my eyes over some of his other directorial efforts a story about shape shifting racoons caught my eye. Pompoko (1994), I believe we have a date!

This is recommenced if not essential viewing at some stage of your life regardless of your feelings about animation, war or ugly truth bombs.

4/5

The Guard (2011)

Brendan Gleeson plays the eccentric character this film is named after. A copper in Galway, Ireland, he is an odd mix of conflicting characteristics and morals. An American FBI agent played by Don Cheadle has the perplexing task of trying to work with him and uncover some drug importation shenanigans.

The feckin Irish humour is harnessed to great effect and you have to sympathise with the American's bewilderment with the culture he finds himself in. The dark humour along with some melancholy moments make it a very enjoyable, rounded experience. There are a lot of little interesting side plots weaved in amongst the film that really give it a great sized girth.

You should just watch it instead of reading my stream of near incoherent ramblings. I could guff on for ages about how much I Dig Dug this film. Although I must admit it did take me a little while to adjust to the thick Irish accents that also sound like a stream of near incoherent ramblings. Worth the effort most definitely.

4/5

Valhalla Rising (2010)

I was anticipating this film with a sense of murmuring, low level excitement. Mads Madsen is a curiously intriguing presence, just like his name. He was great a few years ago in that uncomfortable little tale, After the Wedding (2006). Director Nicolas Winding Refn has the explosive Bronson (2008) and the recently released Drive (2011) to his credit. That's another film I'm anticipating with a simmering level of curiosity. Then there was a blood stained trailer that led me to believe this would be some sort of seat-of-the-pants ride. So it is with some bereavement I share the news that Valhalla Rising is mostly a trudging and indulgent test. I love a good slow-burn film, most definitely, no doubt about it, but in this film the drama between action sequences is a chore. The flat characters and shallow story don't add much weight to the scenes of wandering through paddocks. While the camera work makes those paddocks look all lovely the overuse of digital molestation was a distraction and the animated blood sprays comical.

There is still juicy marrow to be extracted though; the violent dispatching of lives doesn't get dull and the scenery is stunning. The bugged-out, nightmare journey that closes the film is a fitting conclusion to a miserable adventure. 
Well even though I pretty much just kicked this film in the guts it has its redeeming features  just likes it's hero and shouldn't be relegated to the steaming dung heap of crap movies.

3/5

  

Where the Green Ants Dream (1984)

I watched another Werner Herzog directed film. I've seen a few now haven't I? Yes ma'am! This one oddly sees the German director venture to Australian shores to tell the tale of a mining company encroaching on land Aboriginals claim to be sacred. Tall timber Bruce Spence, who I haven't seen in anything for a while, plays the engineer who's at first frustrated by the Aboriginals but becomes a sympathetic ally of sorts. Such issues have been an emotional and prickly issue in Australia over the years and it can be intriguing to get a foreigners take on things. 

Busy broadcaster Phillip Adams was involved with Herzog during the making of this film. If a recent article he wrote in The Australian is anything to go by he is still reeling about the outcome. I don't share Adam's concerns about the film but then again I don't claim to be the most enlightened on Aboriginal culture. To me it seemed like a reasonable view of events still taking place on the richly resourced lands of the outback.
Herzog manages to elicit feats of under and over acting from much of his cast, a trait I have noticed common to many of his films. This is at the bottom end of the films I have seen of his but is not a bad effort. Surely he could have satisfied us fans though by squeezing in an unrelated shot of a desert mouse feeding its young on the tit or something of the like.

3/5

  

Fantastic Planet (1973)

I do love some animation. I grew up in the 80's happily sucking at the warm, milky tit of child friendly cartoons from Warner Bros, Disney, Walter Lantz and Hanna Barbera. They were happy, giddy times but I also fed with curiosity on the charcoal flavoured nipple of Ralph Bakshi. His freaked out, anti-Nazi, rotoscoped feature Wizards (1977) has been sourced as a potential responsible party for a recurring nightmare I sweated through as a sprog (my actual birth is also another possible aggressor).

It's with mixed results I think how I would have responded to Fantastic Planet back then. Surely I would have woken up lying in a puddle of piss, muttering gibberish about escaping from my over possessive master Draag. It is a good story though; the Draags are the master race and the humans, known as Ohms, are pest-like creatures kept as pets and exterminated when their numbers swell. Themes of race relations, war and astral projection among others can be soaked up by the viewer in this textured soup. Plenty of other weird shit goes on of course but lets move on shall we? This surreal adventure features some great art that has been animated in quite a stilted manner. There is a nostalgic element that I really enjoyed about that fact but there is also something oddly creepy about it. The main theme music perfectly accompanies the sight of blue aliens meditating and making love to creatures from other dimensions (truly). Roland Topor who I have mentioned in a previous post worked on this as a writer and in the art department. He collaborated with director René Laloux on other projects and his influence was obviously quite strong. 

If everything I have written above makes watching this sound like a good idea then I suggest slating in some time for it...otherwise you will probably hate it and wake up in a puddle of warm piss. 
2.5/5

The Host (2006)

"Come 'ere meat sack". Yoink!

Admit it, it's time you saw another monster movie. It's probably what's been missing from your life and now you have no self respect. Well, now is the time to reclaim it! Some slimy beast from the undulating bowels of Korea has emerged hungry and ready to feast on as many screaming, gawping, little humans as it can muster. The special effects do the toadish alien justice as it swings under bridges and gallops about, scooping up its daffy victims. The camera work looks very sharp giving the film a crisp air of reality without going for the shaky hand help camera style. The scenes of mass panic by the river are particularly sweeeeet.

If things had been wrapped up 30 minutes sooner this could have really been a classic of the genre but some silly subplots with the central family linger on for too long. The Host 2 is due for release in 2012 so hopefully it'll tighten up the story and literally devour my balls off with its awesomeness.

3.5/5

The Hit (1984)

What?! How had I not heard of The Hit? I freakin' love this film. Every mum's heart throb Terrence Stamp, is Willy, an enigmatic chap if ever I've met one. Willy grassed on his crim mates and has been hiding in Spain for a number of years. Tim Roth and John Hurt are the heavies who pick Willy up and have to drag him back to Paris to face the ultra violence that is awaiting him. 

Opening with an Eric Clapton track and featuring the broad, barren landscapes of España this film immediately stood out to me from others of a similar vein. Stamp is amazing as the beguiling captive who has seemingly made peace with the universe. Roth's status as a newcomer to watch was solidified with this role as an apprentice gangster and he is truly believable as a stupidly dangerous, young punk too eager to impress. Hurt crackles as an old hand who is damaged from a life of crime and emits few signs of humanity. Their car trip to Paris becomes a festering mind game with intermittent outbursts of violence and hostage taking. I was also particularly joyed to see Bill Hunter in a small role. It's wonderful discovering the trail of golden film nuggets this icon left in his wake. Directed by Stephen Frears, The Hit is more slow burn and character driven than rampant gunfire and explosions which helps it shadow many of its brethren films.

The extras of the Criterion DVD release has an excellent Parky interview with Stamp from the 80s. Stamp seems to share some qualities with his character Willy and opens up about much of his colourful history. Your mum will also appreciate seeing this.

I was very happy to stumble across this underrated crime caper. It looks stunning while opening some larger, life and death puzzles to ponder. 

And pondering I still am...Ah, yep, just got them. All figured out.      
4.5/5   

Made in Dagenham (2010)

England, 1968 - the women of automotive giant Ford's upholstery section go on strike for better pay. Sally Hawkins, as Rita O'Grady, becomes their spokeswoman and leads the charge for a much bigger scalp; equal pay for women. It feels like quite a light production at times but Made in Dagenham still relives a piece of history in a moving and enjoyable fashion.
I can't think of a more appropriate word than 'delightful' to describe Hawkins in all her film roles. I mean really, have you seen Happy-Go-Lucky (2008)? She really is a delight, you must believe me. Note it down if you think you'll forget. Bob Hopkins is great as the union rep who revs her up for the stand-off and Miranda Richardson is ball busting as an impertinent politician.

It's a battlers versus big company movie. We all know how these arm wrestles finish in the world of films but given the confounding issue it's a more than welcome, familiar fight.  

3.5/5

Get Carter (1971)

Here we find Michael Caine in classic form as a thug investigating the suspicious death of his bro. There is much to love about this; mob violence, 70's era English pubs, cockneys, chase scenes on wharves, busty old hoteliers and a merciless end scene. I ask for little more. Add Caine as Carter, the arrogant, resourceful and vengeful 'hero' and you have a gold medal action film. I've sworn on my neighbour's life to never forget the scene where Carter talks filth on the phone to his lady while in the presence of the hotel owner. She loves every moment of it and he knows it. Carter in the buff and brandishing a shotgun at intruders after a roll about with previously mentioned wench is also ace.    
It's no surprise Sylvester Stallone wants to be Carter, we all do, but did he have to remake the damn film? I actually saw it when it was released in 2000. To be honest, it's not terrible but not terribly good either. Caine does have a small role which means he either approved of the remake or they dumped a tonne of dough on him. Money, he admits, has been a factor primary to many of his project choices over the years. Anyway, as usual screw the new one and get ye olde Get Carter instead. You geezer.  

4/5

Other Films I'm Watchin' Round Up #3

Here's some more films I've ingested voluntarily over the last few months and not got around to gassing on about. Generally pretty good bunch this lot. 

I Love You Phillip Morris (2009) Ewan McGregor doesn't mind smearing his talents liberally over the challenging roles does he? Eh? Here he is the somewhat innocent and naive object of Jim Carey's homosexual love. An entertaining and true story! 3.5/5 

Religulous (2008) Bill Maher seems like an intelligent man so it's a shame he could not put this together with more finesse. His quest to understand and question people's faith comes up short but he's an amusing guy which sees this pass as decent light entertainment.  2.5/5

The King's Speech (2010) - Do you need inspiration? Do you feel too pathetic and insignificant to roll out of bed in the morning? Geoffrey Rush is outstanding as a speech therapist and motivator to Colin Firth's stuttering King. High quality in all departments. 4/5 

Catfish (2010) A fly-on-the-wall documentary about a catfish's slow learning curve to set up a Facebook profile. 
No, sorry. 
What seemed like a potentially painful, narcissistic Facebook era film is actually well made and genuinely surprising. 
That other catfish documentary should be made though. 3.5/5

The Cove (2009) Dolphin slaughtering; an unpopular business to be in. Very uncool when you see the inhumane killing practices involved. Ex Flipper trainer Ric O'Barry sets out on a mission to reveal Japan's controversial industry and runs into feisty opposition. It gets pretty silly when his crack team of knucklehead allies go all covert. As I laughed at the conservationists I did feel the serious nature of the film was undermined. Tut tut Ric. 3/5

Another Year (2010) Well isn't it nice watching a couple of old married people, in love and doing the gardening together? I'm serious! Director Mike Leigh owns these slice of life films. He also perfectly captures the couples sad, alcoholic friends. It may bore some stupid but I love it. 4/5

The Adventures of Barry McKenzie (1972)

Bazza McKenzie is the stereotypical young, boozy, horny Aussie male flying the flag in the Old Dart. As I know some about this creature I relished the mocking/celebratory attention that is well deserved. Australia's culture as a whole is hung out for a good poke in fact. Sufferers of cultural cringe will no doubt be either violently agreeing with the portrayal or feeling sick. The total lack of political correctness is relentless and has no doubt been dividing audiences for decades. It's great! 

It's a shame it runs out of steam by the second half. Increasingly the adventures are more random and ridiculous until it's just a stream of poor sketches with Baz's catch phrases  the punch line. It's an epic, chasm proportioned flaw that sinks the film sadly. 
It was still pretty sweet seeing a young Barry Crocker in full flight as Bazza. He has  some  classic quotes and the Trouser Snake song haunts long after the final line. His aunty is played by Barry Humphries as Edna Everage at an early stage in that character's development. 
Unfortunately the film as a whole is a bit of a Barry Crocker but it's worth seeing an Aussie film doing what we apparently do so well, taking the piss. 

2/5

 

Submarine (2010)

Teen love; a subject never tackled in film before.

A sweet, witty and attractive tale of an obsessive teen learning the ropes of love with his acidic little lady interest. Noah Taylor stands out as the depressed marine biologist dad. Really, he is tops in these roles and should be chopping up more of this type of material. Remember him in The Life Aquatic (2004)? Case closed! I also think Sally Hawkins is pretty great in everything I see her in and she doesn't screw with that record here. Add the Welsh seaside and a quality soundtrack and the casting choices appear ideal. Director Richard Ayoade, of much good English comedy fame, has obviously enjoyed the works of Wes Anderson but Submarine doesn't come off as a pale imitation at all. I'm sure you're reading this Ayoade old boy, so keep up the fine work!
4/5

Freaks (1932)

I had been foaming with anticipation to see Freaks for a long time. It's regarded by some as a piece of must-see historical cinema. Plus who doesn't want to see a mob of vengeful, real life abnormalities dish out come-uppance to a snotty trapeze artist? The film opens with a spiel about the value of all humans and so on and what not. Some will argue it's a cover for an exploitative film but I think not. Director Tod Browning's ticker appears to generally be in the right place. Centred around a love triangle in a travelling freak show it stars an amazing cast of individuals; half boy Johnny Eck, Siamese twins Daisy and Violet Hilton, pin head Schlitze and miniature siblings Harry and Daisy Earles. That's only a few of the fascinating carnival folk that appear and make this film one hell of a thing.

 

What would traditionally be categorised as good acting and original plot hardly appear but that matters little. The simple tale still fires some curly moral questions all while you sit like a gawking, popcorn stuffing, putrid smelling, circus audience member. The spectacle of the "Gooble gobble, gooble gobble, one of us!" wedding scene has rightly been canonised into pop culture. Unforgettable stuff.  

4/5 

Kill the Irishman (2011)

Danny Greene was a force in Cleveland's crime world of the 1960's and 70's. Proud of his Irish heritage, strong and charismatic, he brazenly went into business with the mafia. The sweet love between them didn't last though and quite literally an explosive war kicked off. Dozens of bombs ripped through the underworld, Greene however proved a tough dude to bury.

                                                      
Based on real events, it's an interesting chapter in American mob history but hasn't been given a healthy chance to glow on screen. A half arsed script that's been directed equally has some life injected into it by lead Ray Stevenson, who's hammy yet enthusiastic. Counts for something right? Christopher Walken is great as Christopher Walken while Vincent D'Onofrio and Val Kilmer slog through the paces. The cast is filled out by faces from every mob film or tv show you can think of, rehashing scenes from them all. 

Cliched, predictable, underdone and yet oddly...watchable.
2.5/5

On the Beach (1959)

They did it. They dropped the bomb in the Northern Hemisphere and a nuclear cloud is drifting towards Australia, killing all in it's wake. Gregory Peck surfaces from his US military submarine in Melbourne and hangs with new pal Anthony Perkins, a surprisingly convincing fair-dinkum Aussie. Ava Gardiner and Fred Astaire join them to lament over lost love and the lives they are about to lose in excruciating agony. None of this is as dark or depressing as you would expect given the situation but this was shot in the sanitary 1950's. The Road it most definitely is not. In fact, not a dead body, rotting or intact, is sighted at all. An opportunity missed.

As a curiosity I enjoyed it; the city streets of Melbourne that I know today are shown in the 50's with Hollywood icons mincing about them. The idea of Australia being the last bastion of life is also a comforting if not misguided idea. As slight as the film as a whole comes off, the themes must have been quite disturbing given the era. I guess this was too good an opportunity to sugar coat the end of civilisation with some romantic fluff.

3/5

Interestingly, this was remade in 2000 starring Armand Assante of The Mambo Kings fame, Bryan Brown, Rachel Ward and stalwart Grant Bowler. What is also interesting is that I would actually like to see it. A modern, darker interpretation was a fair call and despite the worrying 'made for tv' categorisation, my expectations are set at the right pitch to perhaps, just perhaps, enjoy this caper.

The Long Good Friday (1980)

Now I'm back at uni I can continue raiding the eclectic titles sitting on the library shelves at school. Not many new dvds have arrived so I must settle with films I've passed over many times. Eventually I will be forced to watch the abundance of Asian films featuring 20 year old gangsters in the year 3050 proposing to robots. I'm not there yet though. Anyhow, I was curious about this film starring Bob Hoskins as London's #1 crime boss. Keen to make some legitimate cash developing a future Olympic site, Hoskins' crew is rocked by explosions and murders frightening away potential investors. Who the hell would dare fuck with Bob Hoskins? Look at him!

Bad man 

This was a solid crime caper with some scenes that have seared my frayed memory glands (you have memory glands too). Hoskins commands the screen with charisma and menace; there's a great passage where he loses his shit and bottles a guy in the neck. Monstrous. His star understandably rose with this film, fuelling his prolific screen output. Helen Mirren, his partner in crime and love, is a sophisticated presence next to the thick headed bullying of her companion. Their attempts to straighten out the violent mess amongst the bloody twists leads to a conclusion I thought was very cool. 

I enjoyed watching this, although the thick accents and muddy sound made some details hard to follow. It was a suitable English counterpart to my recent American crime trip of a similar era, The Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973). I'm afraid old Eddie Coyle would have struggled in the tough streets of London. Hoskins wins!

3.5/5  

Trash Humpers (2009)

Provoked? Disturbed? No,  just offended I spent $7.50 renting this out. That's nearly a pint.
0.5/5

The Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973)

Robert Mitchum depresses me. His weary eyes, drawling pronunciation and lumbering frame excrete the impression of a man defeated by life. As Eddie Coyle he is well cast, a guy who has taken his share of beatings. A career in Boston's rugged criminal world led to a stretch in the lockup after Eddie decided not to rat. Another potential lockup has him all nervous and he's looking at ways to avoid it. Seedy characters, masquerading as one another's comrade, squirm to get ahead with double crosses and avoid incarceration by acting as informants. It's tough making a living with friends like these.

Released the same year as Scorsese's masterpiece Mean Streets (1973), it lacks the dynamic film making which would see it used as a blue print for many crime flicks to follow. It's not hard to imagine this with some snappy editing and Mick Jagger wailing in the background as Coyle menaces his gun supplier into delivering his merchandise promptly. The dead ends of a criminal life are presented plainly without the cool, it makes it feel quite dated actually but works to it's advantage. Peter Boyle makes good on his role as Coyle's bar tending buddy, as he pulls beers in one of the more depressing dives I've seen. 

Apparently Ben Affleck is a fan of Eddie Coyle and used it as inspiration for his film The Town (2010), which I did like mostly. Let's all hope he leaves this alone though and doesn't remake the shit out of it. Some vintages are best left undisturbed.

3.5/5 

Due Date (2010)

Now listen to me, this is basically worth watching for the unique comedy talent that is Zach Galiafianakis. Robert Downey Jr. is perfectly serviceable in the straight man role but Galiafianakis is brilliantly irritating and likable as idiot extraordinaire and wannabe actor Ethan Trembole. It's a road trip, odd couple story that sets the scene for generally predictable but well executed laughs. Todd Phillips directed and it's no surprise that he is also responsible for The Hang Over films (2009 & 2011) and Old School (2003). The guy has a sensibility for shitty dude humor and serves it up slick and sick. Oddly, not everybody finds immature men busting jokes about testicles and prostitutes amusing though, so keep that in mind. Fortunately for me, I generally do.
This is approximately 90 minutes of entertainment, nothing more or less. Expectations beyond that will be met with disappointment. Sometimes that's all you want though. Am I right? Yes I am.   

3.5/5

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El Velador (2011)

I saw this at the Melbourne International Film Festival a few days ago. Wanting to see something I perhaps wouldn't normally see at the cinema, this seemed to fit the bill. I rolled the dice on this baby and scored a mixed result. It's a documentary that focuses on a cemetery which is home to the many victims of the ruthless drug war, rampaging out of control in Mexico. The cameras mainly revolve around the night watchman and his tedious work life which generally consists of picking up beer cans and watering dirt. At other times the film's attention shifts to the living victims who flock daily to mourn the dead, or the thriving industry that is required to make room for the flood of bodies arriving. Busted up, weathered dudes, wearing split work boots, labour away on extravagant mausoleums for the flashy and cashed up, criminal corpses. A lot of people's lives seem to revolve around this eerie place which is a saddening thing.

The film never looks anything short of amazing, even though a filthy mini-city of the dead don't sound visually alluring, it definitely is. Unfortunately it moves at a painfully slow pace, camera shots hover over their target until you're slapping your hand on the ground  and   screaming "forfeit!". It would have been interesting to hear some thoughts from the various individuals featured, as it stands it is kept to an absolute minimum. Director Natalia Almada would instead like you to observe and contemplate this world without forcing any messages. That goal was only partially realised for me, it was just far too repetitive and meandering. Still, it's a noble attempt to draw some attention to a shit ugly situation. If you're feeling strong give it a shot.  

2.5/5     

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

I knew this was unavoidable. It was destiny I would see it eventually. The utterly contemptible act of stitching three people together, lips to arsehole, to form a human centipede caught everybody's imagination off guard. Well, perhaps if I had heard not a thing about it, the surprise factor might have provoked a response other than "whatever shit lips". Pretty fucking underwhelming. The idea is more disgusting and appalling than anything on screen. Dieter Laser, the mad doctor who stitches the morons together, is probably the most frightening sight. I simply will not believe he isn't evil personified in real life. He looks like a convicted child murderer. 

The film's not so bad it's unwatchable, it's just doesn't offer anything new or exciting beyond that one, admittedly pretty sweet, idea. Just for the record as well, I would be in the middle. 

1.5/5    

The Illusionist (2010)

Ah, so sumptuous I could pepper it and eat it.

Now here's a great example of why I'm an old school 2d animation fan. The Illusionist showcases beautiful art and animation that is retro in both feel and setting. Set in 1959, the detail and atmosphere present in the featured cities of Paris, London and Edinburgh is quite frankly...breathtaking. And I'm not even mentioning the countryside scenes...omg. The central character, a magician who's trade is doing a disappearing act, is animated so fluidly and expressively that the need for dialogue is rendered superfluous almost. The times are changing and the poor old relic of the stage is struggling to stay relevant. He still has his admirers though in the form of a pisshead Scotsman and a young girl who he quasi-adopts. There's plenty of memorable characters and scenes that lead to laughs but it's not exactly a happy tale, much more like real life.

The story struggles towards the end but I still loved it overall. Director  Sylvain Chomet has The Triplets of Belleville (2003) to his credit also which caused a bit of a stir, so that's locked in for a viewing down the road. 
I watched this at ACMI as part of their Seniors Programme but don't let that fool you into thinking it's just for old farts. I'm a youngish fart and say, "Watch it or die".
4/5  

The Trip (2010)

The film version of The Trip has been edited from what was originally a six episode television series. Steve Coogan knocks about England on assignment with Rob Brydon, a warm yet annoying man he reluctantly accepts as his friend. Together they eat at restaurants in North England for a newspaper Coogan is to write for, Brydon his accomplice by default. This is the premise that sets up a steady stream of one-upmanship between the two, which mainly consists of whose celebrity impersonation is more accurate. These moments provide most of the laughs in the film which can also be quite melancholy at times.

Their relationship and personalities are exposed as quite flawed entities; Coogan gives a self-deprecating portrayal of himself as an egoist and Brydons an engaging character who doesn't appear able to hold a conversation without breaking into a Michael Caine monologue. The film is essentially an exploration of their short comings and the fractured fondness they have for one another. Michael Winterbottom has directed in an ad-lib style and amongst the incessant banter there is some pretty sweet photography of the English countryside. So it looks great and is a fun jaunt but I felt like it was missing some scenes that would have fleshed out the story. The television series is apparently a better crafted creature, which is not surprising considering that is how it was conceived. Makes me wonder why the film had to be made, I would have preferred to see the series. In saying that  though, I enjoyed it enough to now want to see the series as originally intended.
Strange that it exists but worthwhile if you're a lazy bastard who won't track down the long play version. 

3.5/5

The Road (2009)

Set in the post-apocalypse, the world has become a dead, cold, grey environment, matched only by the depths of the Melbourne winter I find myself in right now. Viggo Mortensen and his child boy struggle to survive amongst the remaining scoundrel inhabitants of the baron, crusty earth. This isn't a film to watch when you need your spirits lifted after a long day of kicking shit, but it does stir some emotions. "What would you do?" seems to be continually posed as father and son barely cope and are pushed into situations no one in their right mind wants to deal with. 

The film looks beautifully despairing, pushing the boundaries of both grey and brown palettes. Mortensen, always good, is a skeleton on legs who refuses to give up and the kid does a pretty reasonable job, but like all kids in films, eventually got on my jangled nerves. 

This is based on Cormac McCarthy's novel, also author of No Country For Old Men, and is apparently a cracker of a read. Reputable sources have informed me of it's greatness. I'll give it a look over one day for sure.

Add this one to your list of 'must-see, post-apocalyptic films to be viewed before the world is mysteriously ruined and the missus has lost her balls to live'. If you have a list like that.

4/5

I should add that this trailer, like most, is a pretty poor representation of the film. What is with trailers having to say "This (insert season here)" and then basically exposing every twist in the film? Retards.

Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs (2009)

I recently acquired access to a slew of films, most of which are a bit shit, Fan Boys and Centurion for example, but I'll probably keep watching them. Fool. There are quite a few animated movies amongst the rabble such as this colourful little fella from Sony Pictures. I'm more of a fan of traditional 2d animation myself, I haven't really been won over by the flood of 3d animation films over the years. I'd say nostalgia, artistry and content would be the chief reasons. Sure some good ones exist but there's usually a tedious moral lesson for children that I have to reluctantly swallow. Where's the adult oriented 3d films about boozing, philandering cats? This one though is quite a bit of fun and has some clever moments. I liked the kid who is an aspiring mad inventor and his dad, who can only communicate with his son through fishing metaphors. A sidekick monkey in most circumstances is usually good for a few laughs and doesn't disappoint here. The graphics and animation are tight and the voice acting which includes the talents of Anna Farris, James Cann and Mr T is hard to fault. By the time the credits rolled I was tired of the madcap caper and relieved to return to reality, but this is intended for the kids and their attention span is probably better than mine.

3.5/5

Fanboys (2008)

Not sure how I managed to sit through the entirety of this shit stain, but I did. I've got love for the original Star Wars films, so perhaps the fact that this is about Lucas tragics had me feeling a little sympathetic. Tired story lines and abysmally clichéd characters prevented any laughs from this 'comedy' about geeks on a road trip for a dying friend. A few of the performances were believable, but the supposed zany and hilarious antics could only possibly be found amusing by the characters themselves. 
That's enough now, I'm depressed.

1.5/5

True Grit (2010)

It's cold out, don't forget to wear your bear

The Coen brothers have stuck closer to traditional genre with their take on the 1968 novel by Charles Portis. It still features amazing craftsmanship and storytelling but they've resisted the urge to steer off into their own world of curiosities too much. That is neither a good or bad thing as the resulting film is a great old western story with memorable characters that still bears their unique touch. Young Hailee Stenfield is the real star of the film as the outspoken, bold, seeker of vengeance. Jeff Bridges, as Rooster Cogburn, is the victim of her harassment, and finally agrees to seek the man who smote her father. You can almost smell the whiskey and grime escaping from the pores of the weary old lawman, Bridges nails it again. 

This isn't up there with my favourite Coen bro films; a quick mental survey reveals my top three to be: The Big Lebowski (1998), Millers Crossing (1990) and Raising Arizona (1987). It seemed to lack some staying power but I do still rate this interpretation highly. The relationships the young girl forms with the old bastards of the wild west is a pretty damn nice thing. Alright then, perhaps this ranks in at about number six. Good stuff.

4/5